Gene Pool Contribution: Introducing Amani
We recently celebrated the 30th birthday of my fiancé Sterling, a Captain America junkie. For his birthday, I purchased him a Captain America t-shirt and texted all of his friends to request that they wear superhero (or villain) t-shirts for his birthday outing. Being the procrastinator that I am, I waited until the day of his birthday to go out and get my own shirt for the event. Amani, my 7 year old daughter, needed to do her Christmas shopping for the family, so I brought her along for the shopping trip.
The first leg of the journey was to the dollar store, so that Amani could pick out Christmas gifts for 10 people who open presents with us on Christmas morning. Yes, this seems like a cheap move, but when you have four children it’s a great way for them to learn how to give and do so in a way that doesn’t put me into the poor house. She was doing an awesome job picking out gifts for brother, sisters, and cousin even her dad. And then a moment of pure genius came over her. As we were passing through the home décor and crafting department, she spotted a bird clip. This artful piece was hummingbird-esque situated atop a long metal clip probably used for sprucing up a floral arrangement or something like that. However, this was not what Amani saw. What she saw was a beautiful hair clip. So much so that she also picked out two of them….one of them being my Christmas present (that I was directed to wrap for her with my eyes closed so I did not know what she got me for Christmas).
The second stop in our shopping day was Target. I had high hopes of finding a superhero shirt in the women’s department. As I scoured the racks, Amani followed close behind me asking questions to see what exactly I was looking for. “Are you looking for something cute? Are you looking for a sweater?” The questions rolled on. Then it happened. The moment that every mother imagines experiencing with their daughter. “Hey mom, are you looking for something warm like this?” My classy daughter turns around, bends over, and farts. Ah, girls. Oh, but it doesn’t stop there. We continue on through the women’s department with no luck. I figure I’ll head over to the men’s department to see what they have to offer. When we arrive, Amani advises me that she has been in this department with her dad and that she made a discovery that she insists upon showing me. She paces the department looking for this specific item and finally stops in front of a set of shelves with miscellaneous gift items on them. Her little hands reach out for a shiny tin box and she says, “This is it. I thought it was just an empty metal box and I was going to get it, but it’s men’s panties.” BONUS TIDBIT: She also convinced me to buy Sterl a pink notebook for his birthday while we were there.
Disappointed with the selection at Target, we swung by Kohl’s. Immediately upon our arrival, I found the shirt I was looking for, but Amani had other plans for us. We looked at shirts that I didn’t need or want. We looked at jewelry. We looked at lotions and body wash. And finally made our way to the line. This was when her “typical child behavior” kicked in. “Mom, are we done shopping?” “No, we still have 1 more place to go.” “We’ve done too much shopping.” “We’ve only been to 2 stores.” This was when the man in front of us commented, “I see that all of us men feel the same way.” Then he turned around to realize I was talking to a little girl.