Dumb Ass Ideas No. 1: Nickelodeon Porn Parodies

Dumb Ass Ideas No. 1: Nickelodeon Porn Parodies

DICKelodeon Should Exist

In effort to start blogging more, I have decided to write about my D.A.I. (Dumb Ass Ideas) that occur to me just about every hour of everyday.

Today's D.A.I. has to do with porn. I have been a connoisseur of adult movies from the time I was 12 and found a shit ton of magazines and video tapes next to a dumpster during a stroll through my alley. I ran home flipped through the magazines and becamed grossed out at the sight of the inside of a vagina. I had to wait until my parents were asleep before I was able to vie the tapes.

I’m 32 now and porn is not only everywhere it's also free. Long gone are the days where the odds of you and your best friend seeing the same movie was incredibly low unless it was Emmanuelle in Space, because every guy born between 1970 and 1985 has seen every Emmanuelle ever. Women are even watching porn and openly admit it. 

One thing that has not changed is the existence of porn parodies. Titles like Forrest Hump, Flesh Gordon and The Sex Files were mainstays not only in the industry but would sometimes get mentioned on prime time sitcoms. Today though you do not have to have a clever name, you can just title it *insert movie title* The Porn Parody.

As of this writing there are a list of porn parodies that need to be made and last week I began to think about how Nickelodeon, the first network for kids, has a ton of show titles that lend themselves to be parodied by the porn industry. All the following films would be produced by DICKelodeon Studios, because why not.

The Backyardigans

Transient

The Backyardigans was the first one to came mind, it was a show that featured five animal characters who would imagine their backyard becoming a place for adventures. Think Muppet Babies for millenium kids. This porn parody can take on two niches, furries, people who dress up like furry woodland creatures and engage in sexual activities, and anal. The term “backyard” has been synonymous with booty for the past 20 years in porn.

Rugrats

Transient

The Rugrats were on television for nearly 13 years. 172 episodes, three movies and a few holiday specials that taught people who would not open up the Bible about religion. Rugrats focused on a group of babies and their many adventures. When it comes to porn though, my first thought is an all lesbian affair since rugrat sounds eerily similar to the term "carpet muncher."  But anyone who has watched this show knows the last name of the main character and his family is “Pickles.” And pickles can be used in place for penis. There are porn videos that exclusively feature blow jobs, so the question is is there an audience for watching men only perform cunnilingus? 

The Angry Beavers

Transient

The Angry Beavers revolved around two brother beavers who left home to live their bachelor lives on their own. I would replace the the men with women they can be sisters, but it will probably be better to make them stepsisters that way the film could end with them doing the deed and the movie can avoid being placed under the incest genre.

Aaahhh!!! Real Cock Monsters

This is self explanatory. But I'll explain anyway.  Aaahhh!!! Real Monsters was Monsters Inc before Monsters Inc. It focused on three monsters going to school to learn how to scare humans. Keeping the same premise opens the movie up for threesome scenes and feed the whole student professor fetish. 

Transient

Cocko’s Modern Wife

Cocko is an Australian immigrant who is married to a BBW (Big Beautiful Woman) lovingly named Heff. This film will follow Cocko being a miserable prick while his wife Heff  goes around sleeping with Filburt, Dr. Paula, Ed Bighead and anyone else who lives in O-Town.

Transient

Urethra’s Castle

Co-Created by R.L. Stine of Goosebumps and Fear Street fame, Eureeka's Castle followed various puppets who lived in a castle. When the infamous R. Kelly sextape came out, I was in shock for two reasons. One, the girl was underage (allegedly) and at one point during the video the self proclaimed ‘Pide Piper’ urinated on the girl. I did not know this activity existed and has a large following. So why not have a video full of ‘Golden Showers’

Here is a list of other titles that work without being changed:

Mr. Meaty
The Mighty B!
All Grown Up!
As Told By Ginger
The X’s
Rocket Power

Did I miss any, let me know in the comments below.


Jon is  a non-single father of none, who spends most of his time watching Netflix creating/editing podcasts and maintaining a decent nice guy to a**hole ratio.

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