It's Not Pizza, It's Little Caesars

It's Not Pizza, It's Little Caesars

Even Shitty Pizza Takes Time

During this economic recession pizza prices have hit rock bottom. Whether its Pizza Hut advertising any size pizza for $10 or Dominos' two medium pizzas for $5.99 or Little Caesars' infamous $5 Hot n Ready. Pizza has been cheap for so long I can’t remember what the prices of pizza use to be.

I eat at Little Caesars, I know their pizza is shitty, its $5 and for $5 I don’t expect mom and pop quality from them. I know what I’m getting most of the time. I’ve visited Little Caesars twice in the past two weeks one for their new Pretzel Crust (which is a salty abomination) and last night for their Hot n Ready. Both times there has been a line and the first thing I think is who the hell comes to Little Caesar and order a gang of pizza? The most I’ve ever ordered at one time was 3, but I’ve seen people walk out with enough pizza to feed a football team. 

Last night I walked into Little Caesars to order two pizzas, I noticed a line, so stood in the middle of the ordering area and waited. A young lady behind the counter told me someone would attend to me in a moment. 

Off to the side of the counter was a woman who was annoyed. She had a deep dish pizza (a pizza that was voted best deep dish in Detroit, seriously Detroit?) and a pepperoni Hot n Ready and was waiting on a cheese pizza. She began to grab a handful of Little Caesars dipping sauce when the teenage boy behind the register alerted her that she would have to pay. The woman taken aback by this stated she had been waiting 15 minutes and shouldn’t have to pay. After a quick back and forth that resembled Floyd Mayweather punching a loaf of bread the woman gave up and went back to waiting for her cheese pizza.

15 minutes? 15 minutes and she felt entitled to free dipping sauce. I remember when Dominos had a 30 minute or its free delivery promo back in the 80s. Heck if I buy a frozen pizza it's going to take anywhere from 12-45 minutes depending on the brand. But this woman could not wait 15 minutes for a pizza.  

She has become accustomed to instant gratification. Even when the gratification isn't that great, the fact that it did not come at an instant ruined this women's night. I was told the wait would be 20 minutes, it turned out to be five. I walked out my "instant gratification" not the pizza, but the slice of patience I practice each and everyday.


Jon is  a non-single father of none, who spends most of his time watching Netflix creating/editing podcasts and maintaining a decent nice guy to a**hole ratio.

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